What if I admitted to you that it's scary? What if I told you that many days I get tired of being different? What if I confided in you that poking the tiger often leaves me feeling unbalanced and out-of-sorts? What if I told you that, sometimes, I want to shovel the dirt back into the rabbit hole?
What if I told you that critically examining every piece of information I'm presented with leaves me drained? What if I told you that I sometimes wish to lower my head and rejoin the safety of the flock? What if I told you that re-examining and critiquing every custom and belief I had instilled in me as a child leaves me feeling insecure and frightened?
What if I told you I must find the truth no matter where it lies? What if I told you that I can't turn it off, that I can't disengage, that I can't simply decide to become "normal" again? What if I told you that, for me, knowing the truth and living my ideals trumps any temporary desire to soothe my soul with platitudes?
What if I told you that living freely doesn't come easy? What if I told you that questioning everything scares the hell out of me? What if I told you my biggest fear was losing everything I had because I failed to conform? What if I told you that following this path is lonely and confusing?
But what if I told you I can't stop? And furthermore, what if I told you I couldn't stop even if I knew for certain that every one of my fears would come to pass? What if I told you that, no matter what, I can't and won't put the genie back in the bottle?
What if I told you that critically examining every piece of information I'm presented with leaves me drained? What if I told you that I sometimes wish to lower my head and rejoin the safety of the flock? What if I told you that re-examining and critiquing every custom and belief I had instilled in me as a child leaves me feeling insecure and frightened?
What if I told you I must find the truth no matter where it lies? What if I told you that I can't turn it off, that I can't disengage, that I can't simply decide to become "normal" again? What if I told you that, for me, knowing the truth and living my ideals trumps any temporary desire to soothe my soul with platitudes?
What if I told you that living freely doesn't come easy? What if I told you that questioning everything scares the hell out of me? What if I told you my biggest fear was losing everything I had because I failed to conform? What if I told you that following this path is lonely and confusing?
But what if I told you I can't stop? And furthermore, what if I told you I couldn't stop even if I knew for certain that every one of my fears would come to pass? What if I told you that, no matter what, I can't and won't put the genie back in the bottle?
